Sunday, December 20, 2009

Christmas Seed Time

Seed Time Game Show, Number 11


Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling sneak out from different sides of the stage. They each have a present, and are trying to hide them under the tree when the other is not looking. When they bump into each other, they act unnaturally “natural.”)

Chloe: Oh, hi, Bobby. I didn’t see you there.

Bobby: Oh, hi! Yeah, I didn’t see you either.

Chloe: So, are you ready for the show?

Bobby: Ummm...yeah. Of course.

Chloe: You’re acting a little funny. Are you hiding something?

Bobby: What would I hide? My life is an open book. Let’s get this show on the road!

Chloe: Welcome to the Show Your Seed Game Show. Every time you answer a question correctly, you win Kid Cash. Bobby, what is the first question?

Bobby: When you give to God, how does He give back to you? Is the answer A) God give you a tiny bit, B) God give you yucky leftovers, or C) God causes men to give to you pressed down, shaken together, and running over?

(Chooses a child to answer) Correct! The answer is C. God blesses you with more than you gave to Him. Isn’t that awesome? Then you can be an even bigger blessing to others!

Chloe: Next question. What happens to the generous man? Is the answer A) he reaps generously because he sowed generously, B) he gives up after awhile and plays video games, or C) he runs out of money?

(Waits for a child to answer) Yes! The correct answer is A. God promises that the generous man will himself be watered.

Bobby: Time for the last question. What does God delight in? That means, what does God get excited about? Is it A) eating Christmas cookies with lots of sprinkles, B) the prosperity of His servants, or C) getting lots of toys for Christmas?

(Choosing a child) Correct. God gets excited when we see the blessing that He wants us to see in all the parts of our lives.

Chloe: Great job, kids. That’s it for this show.

Bobby: (Interrupting) Well, there is one more thing, Chloe.

Chloe: Really?

Bobby: I have a Christmas gift for you. (Pulls it out from under the tree) Here it is!

Chloe: I have one for you, too. Here.

Both: Thank you! Merry Christmas!

(Both exit, while Bobby looks back at kids.)

Bobby: Isn’t giving fun?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Susan On-the-Spot Reporter


Jesus Loves Me

Susan is a reporter who is on a late-breaking story of a blinding flash of light seen near Damascus a few days ago.

Susan: (Holding microphone) This is Susan On-the-Spot in Damascus with a late, breaking story. According to eyewitness reports, there has recently been a brilliant flash of light in the vicinity of Damascus, and we’re out looking for the source. (Seeing someone coming.) Wait. Here comes a man. Perhaps he’s seen something.

Ananias: (Acts like he’s reading an address and looking for it.) The house of Judas on Straight Street. It’s got to be here somewhere.

Susan: Excuse me, I’m Susan On-the-Spot and we’re live with a story about a brilliant flash of light. Have you seen anything, sir?

Ananias: (Jumping a little) Hey! You startled me.

Susan: You seem a little jumpy.

Ananias: You’d be jumpy too if the Lord told you to go pray for a man who hunts down Christians and throws them in jail. (Finds the house he’s looking for.) This is Straight Street, and this must be the house of Judas. (Knocks on the door)

Susan: What do you mean?

(Judas opens the door)

Judas: Who’s there?

Ananias: It’s Ananias. Is Saul of Tarsus in there?

Judas: He’s in here. Just a minute.

(Judas leads Saul out to Ananias.)

Saul: Who is there? (He can’t see because he was blinded by the light.) I can’t see because there was a bright light shone in front of me as I was traveling to Damascus. Jesus told me in a voice not to persecute Him anymore. He told me to wait here in the city.

Ananias: My name is Ananias. The Lord sent me to lay hands on you so that your sight would be restored.

Saul: But I’ve been persecuting the Christians, throwing them in jail. I’ve been really mean. Weren’t you afraid to come here?

Ananias: Of course I was. But God loves you even though you’ve done lots of bad things. Jesus wants you to tell everyone about how He died for them and loves them no matter what.

Saul: Wow. Jesus still loves me. That’s amazing. Okay. Pray for me.

(Ananias prays for Saul, and suddenly Saul can see.)

Saul: I can see! I can see! I know God loves me, and I’m going to tell all the people that Jesus loves them too. (Runs out of room, stopping to tell individual children that Jesus loves them.)

Ananias: (Ananias follows him.) Hey, Saul. Wait for me!

Susan: Boys and girls, remember that God loves you no matter what you have done. Tell everyone you know that Jesus loves them, too. This has been Susan On-The-Spot with another breaking story from the Bible.

Ed Infiltrates Seed Time


Seed Time Game Show, Number 10


Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music. Over to the side, Ed the Janitor is sweeping the floor. During the show, he moves to different parts of the room to help different kids with the answers.)

Chloe: Hey, welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show. Are you kids ready to win some kid cash by answering our Seed Time questions?

Bobby: (Jumping out and acting like she’s ready to do hand-to-hand combat.) Hi-ya!

Chloe: (Startled.) What are you doing, Bobby?

Bobby: I’m fending off nutty math professors and crazy tourists so stand back!

Chloe: There aren’t of those here this week. There’s only Ed the Janitor over there.

Bobby: (Karate pose) Keep a lid on it, Ed. I’m watching you.

Chloe: (Rolling eyes) Let’s get to the first question. The Bible says that as long as the earth remains, what else will we have? Is the answer A) football, B) seed time, or C) ice cream?

Ed: (Stage whispering loudly to some of the kids the answer.) Psst! It’s seed time.

Bobby: (Pointing at Ed indignantly. To Chloe.) Did you see that?

Chloe: (Choosing one of the children that Ed gave the answer to) Correct! The answer is seed time.

Bobby: But—but—

Chloe: Bobby, we have a show to run. Chill out. Next question. God also said that as long as the earth remains, we will have a second thing. Is it A) stuffed teddy bears, B) spaghetti on Thursdays, or C) harvest.

Ed: (Stage whispering loudly to a different bunch of kids.) Psst! The answer is harvest.

Bobby: (Pointing at Ed again) Hey, Ed’s not sweeping the floor. He’s—

Chloe: (Holding up her hand to Bobby) Bobby, I said you need to relax. We have a show to run here and all these interruptions are hurting our ratings.

Bobby: But—but—

Chloe: (Hand up again until Bobby stops.) Last question. What should we always honor God with? Is it A) the first of what we have, B) the last of what we have, or C) a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Ed: (Whistling innocently as Bobby watches him closely. As soon as she turns her back, he stage whispers the answer loudly to the kids near him.) The first of what we have.

(Bobby spins around because she caught Ed this time.)

Bobby: AH HA! You’re helping the—

Chloe: (Grabs Bobby by the ear and pulls her to the front of the room.) You need to quit picking on Ed while he’s doing his job. (Chooses a child.) And the answer is, we should always honor God with the first of what He has blessed us with. That’s all for this time, kids. Remember to sow, sow, sow your seed so it can grow, grow grow!

Bobby: (As Chloe still hangs on to her ear.) Ow! Bye! Ow! You’ve got to believe me, Chloe.

Ed: (Grinning, puts hands together over his head in victory as he exits.)


Friday, November 20, 2009

Is There a Doctor in the House?


Double Doctor Trouble

Susan is a reporter who is on a late-breaking story of a woman who was just healed by Jesus. She is trying to get an interview. Meanwhile, Justinicus and Nickilicus are famous doctors who are sure Susan’s there to interview them about their amazing cures for people.

Susan: (Holding microphone) This is Susan On the Spot with a late, breaking story, folks. Word has it that a woman who was sick for 12 years has just been healed in one moment by Jesus Himself. I’m hoping to get an exclusive interview so we can hear the whole story first hand.

Justinicus: Excuse me, did you just say you were a reporter?

Susan: Why, yes, I’m Susan On the...

Justinicus: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the greatest doctor ever, Justinicus of Rome. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?

Susan: Uh, no. I’m looking for a woman who...

Justinicus: Just another happy client, of course?

Susan: Well, no...

Justinicus: An unhappy client? Not even possible!

Susan: I’m here to interview...

Nickilicus: Did you day the word “interview?” Are you a reporter?

Susan: I’m Susan On The Spot, and I’m here to interview...

Nickilicus: Me, of course. I’m the greatest doctor that ever walked the face of the earth.

Susan: I’m looking for a woman...

Nickilicus: Who was healed by me, of course. They’re probably all over the place. Just pick any fair citizen of this happy town, and they’ll have great things to say about me.

Justinicus: (Tapping Nickilicus on the shoulder) Don’t you mean you’re the second greatest doctor on earth. I’m the greatest.

Nickilicus: (Trying to be courteous) No, you see, everyone says that I’m the greatest.

Justinicus: Then you must be talking to the wrong everyones, because I’m the greatest.

Nickilicus: You want a piece of me.

Justinicus: Bring it on.

Justinicus and Nickilicus start to box quietly to the side of the stage. They are both AWFUL at it, and trip, fall, and lurch past each other as they try to fight. Keep this low key, since Susan will be interviewing the woman and we want most of the focus on them.

Susan: (To woman who is passing) Excuse me, I’m looking for a woman who was healed by Jesus recently.

Woman: That’s me. Thank God!

Susan: How did it happen?

Woman: I had been sick for so many years that I used all my money to pay doctors, but it didn’t do any good. I was still sick. In fact, because of the kind of sickness, I wasn’t supposed to be around other people.

Susan: How awful. Then what happened?

Woman: I heard that Jesus was passing by, and that He had healed so many other people. I just knew that He would heal me too. I kept on saying to myself, “If I can just touch the hem of his robe, I’ll be healed."

Susan: You mean you didn’t even think you’d have to have Jesus stop and pray for you?

Woman: I knew that healing power was in Jesus, and if I could just touch Him, that power would heal me. So I squirmed my way through the crowd, touch his robe, and I was healed.

Susan: What did Jesus do?

Woman: Jesus said he felt the power go out of Him, so He stopped and found out it was me. At first I was frightened that He knew, but He wasn’t angry. He said that my faith had made me well.

Susan: That’s wonderful!

Woman: Praise God! He is so good. He wants every person to be healed and made whole. Isn’t that awesome?

The two doctors lurch to the center of the stage by the woman, who sees them and chases them out of the room.

Woman: You? and YOU? Aren’t you the ones who promised I’d be healed in no time? You took all my money and I was still sick. I’m going to get you! (Chases them out of the room.)

Susan: This has been Susan On The Spot with another breaking story from the Bible.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Watch Out for the Tourists!


Who’s the Greatest?

(Nick and Susanna come on stage in a heated argument.)

Susanna: Look. You are absolutely nuts if you think that Mom and Dad love you more than me. I am the best child on the planet. I almost never get into trouble, and I don’t wreck other people’s stuff when they’re not around.

Nick: You look, Susanna. Just because a child doesn’t occasionally try her parent’s patience doesn’t automatically mean that she is her Mom and Dad’s favorite.

Susanna: Occasionally? If just about every day means occasionally, then I suppose that would fit your definition.

Nick: Okay miss goody two shoes. It so happens that when Mom and Dad talk to me, even about the things that I’ve done wrong, they always tell me that although they aren’t happy about what I did, it doesn’t make any difference in their love for me.

(Susan walks on stage unnoticed at this point.)

Susanna: Hey I know that which is why I say they love me more. I do my chores without being told to. I obey most of the time. And Mom and Dad have both told me that they love me regardless of my behavior. But, they don’t have to love me in spite of my behavior like they do with you. So there! (she sticks her tongue out at him.)

Susan: Oh, I can’t wait to hear what this is all about. You two have the weirdest arguments.

Nick: I told her that Mom and Dad love me more, Mom was very pleased with the job I did of painting Susanna’s room while she was gone. She was glad that I had done it because it saved her so much time. She wasn’t even sure she would have the time to get it done.

Susanna: And I told him that Mom and Dad love me more because I’m not such a pain. I don’t get into trouble almost every day.

Nick: I don’t get into trouble almost every day. I went four days this week without even getting caught doing one thing wrong. So there (he sticks his tongue out at Susanna.)

Susan: You two are unbelievable! Don’t you realize that you are both saying that your mom and dad love you regardless of your behavior, but in the same breath you’re saying that your behavior does make a difference.

Susanna: Well it does a little, doesn’t it?

Susan: Nope. When Jesus’ disciples were arguing about who would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, He took a little child and set them in front of them. He said that unless they believed like that little child, they would not even enter the kingdom of heaven. And whoever humbled himself like that little child would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Nick: So what does that have to do with us?

Susan: Well, neither one of you is acting very humble right now. And the important point He was making was that it was believing and being humble that mattered. He didn’t want the disciples to think that they could earn their way into heaven.

Nick: Oh.

Susanna: Oh.

Susan: Yeah, oh. So now do you think you can stop arguing about who is the greatest, or who is loved the most?

Susanna: I guess so. That was kind of foolish, wasn’t it. I apologize for arguing with you Nick. Will you forgive me?

Nick: Yes, I forgive you Susanna, after all forgiveness is a part of being humble. And if there’s anything I know about, it’s how to be humble.

Susan & Susanna: Oh no!

Susan: Let’s get out of here before another argument starts.

Susanna: Yeah, let’s. (they exit)

Nick: What?! What did I say? I’m the most humble guy I know. You have to be humble to take all the big talks I get from Dad. (he starts walking after them.) Where are you guys going? Don’t you agree that I’m the most humble person you know….

Saturday, November 7, 2009

How To Be Great

Who’s the Greatest?

(Nick and Susanna come on stage in a heated argument.)

Susanna: Look. You are absolutely nuts if you think that Mom and Dad love you more than me. I am the best child on the planet. I almost never get into trouble, and I don’t wreck other people’s stuff when they’re not around.

Nick: You look, Susanna. Just because a child doesn’t occasionally try her parent’s patience doesn’t automatically mean that she is her Mom and Dad’s favorite.

Susanna: Occasionally? If just about every day means occasionally, then I suppose that would fit your definition.

Nick: Okay miss goody two shoes. It so happens that when Mom and Dad talk to me, even about the things that I’ve done wrong, they always tell me that although they aren’t happy about what I did, it doesn’t make any difference in their love for me.

(Susan walks on stage unnoticed at this point.)

Susanna: Hey I know that which is why I say they love me more. I do my chores without being told to. I obey most of the time. And Mom and Dad have both told me that they love me regardless of my behavior. But, they don’t have to love me in spite of my behavior like they do with you. So there! (she sticks her tongue out at him.)

Susan: Oh, I can’t wait to hear what this is all about. You two have the weirdest arguments.

Nick: I told her that Mom and Dad love me more, Mom was very pleased with the job I did of painting Susanna’s room while she was gone. She was glad that I had done it because it saved her so much time. She wasn’t even sure she would have the time to get it done.

Susanna: And I told him that Mom and Dad love me more because I’m not such a pain. I don’t get into trouble almost every day.

Nick: I don’t get into trouble almost every day. I went four days this week without even getting caught doing one thing wrong. So there (he sticks his tongue out at Susanna.)

Susan: You two are unbelievable! Don’t you realize that you are both saying that your mom and dad love you regardless of your behavior, but in the same breath you’re saying that your behavior does make a difference.

Susanna: Well it does a little, doesn’t it?

Susan: Nope. When Jesus’ disciples were arguing about who would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, He took a little child and set them in front of them. He said that unless they believed like that little child, they would not even enter the kingdom of heaven. And whoever humbled himself like that little child would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Nick: So what does that have to do with us?

Susan: Well, neither one of you is acting very humble right now. And the important point He was making was that it was believing and being humble that mattered. He didn’t want the disciples to think that they could earn their way into heaven.

Nick: Oh.

Susanna: Oh.

Susan: Yeah, oh. So now do you think you can stop arguing about who is the greatest, or who is loved the most?

Susanna: I guess so. That was kind of foolish, wasn’t it. I apologize for arguing with you Nick. Will you forgive me?

Nick: Yes, I forgive you Susanna, after all forgiveness is a part of being humble. And if there’s anything I know about, it’s how to be humble.

Susan & Susanna: Oh no!

Susan: Let’s get out of here before another argument starts.

Susanna: Yeah, let’s. (they exit)

Nick: What?! What did I say? I’m the most humble guy I know. You have to be humble to take all the big talks I get from Dad. (he starts walking after them.) Where are you guys going? Don’t you agree that I’m the most humble person you know….

Professor Math

Seed Time Game Show, Number 8


Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music.)

Chloe: Hi kids. Today we have an extra-special guest on our show. I’d like to introduce—

Bobby: ME! (Bobby steps out and takes a bow)

Chloe: Um, no, it’s not you, Bobby.

Bobby: (Shocked) Who could be more extra-special than me?

Chloe: Key word, Bobby. GUEST! This is not someone who normally is on our show.

Bobby: (Disappointed) Oh.

Chloe: Today Professor Math is here to help us with our tithing and offering questions. Professor Math, come on out!

Professor Math: (Dressed in Einstein wig, mustache, lab coat and large calculator.) Yes, it is I, Professor Math, to solve all your math questions.

Bobby: (Still grumpy because she’s not the special guest. Sounds bored.) How exciting.

Chloe: (Giving Bobby a poke to help her shape up.) It is exciting to have you, Professor Math. Are you ready to race the kids in getting the right answer to our tithing and offering questions today?

Professor Math: I am!

Chloe: First question. Boys and girls, out of every dollar, which dime belongs to God? A) The first dime, B) the second dime, or C) the last dime. Who has the answer first?

Professor Math: (Working on his calculator) Let’s see, you take the cosine of the tangent and cross multiply by the logarithm and... (By the time he finished, the kids already know the answer.)

Chloe: (Choosing a child to answer) That’s right. The very first dime out of every dollar belongs to God.

Professor Math: (Obviously not finished with his calculations, but agreeing anyway.) Uh...right...yes, that’s right. Very good, little boy/girl.

Bobby: (Rolling her eyes.) Second question. My mom gives me ten dollars for raking leaves. What should I do with the first dollar? A) Buy an ice cream cone, B) go to a movie, or C) give it to God as my tithe.

Professor Math: (Doesn’t realize that he doesn’t need a calculator for this one.) This time I’m going to divide by x and multiply by z in order to get the square root of y plus m, resulting in the function of...

Bobby: (Choosing a child to answer) Right again! The answer is C. We always give the first tenth, which is called the tithe, to God. We give to God from the first of all our produce.

Professor Math: (Still trying to figure it out.) Yes! That’s what I get too. Sort of.

Chloe: Professor Math and kids, are you ready for the last question? When we give the first to God, what does that do? Your choices are: A) it makes God like us better, B) it scares God, or C) it honors God.

Professor Math: (Again with the calculator) I’m going to get this one, boys and girls. You won’t beat me this time. Now, we will subtract the angle of the tangent from the hypotenuse of the Pythagorean theorem, dividing by the supplement of the parallelogram...

Chloe: (Choosing a child to answer) Awesome! The answer is C. It honors God when we give the first to Him, because it shows that we know He is the one who blessed us in the first place and we trust Him.

Professor Math: (Absent minded because he is still working) Uh, yes...very good, children. I think I will take that one home to run through my supper computer.

Chloe: You guys did a great job! Thanks for being our special guest today, Professor Math.

Professor Math: Oh yes. Any time. (Still working.) Where was I? The sine of the multiplied square root of x times b...


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Bobby's Reality Show


Seed Time Game Show, Number 7


Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music.)

Bobby: And today we have something really special in store for you kids.

Chloe: (Surprised) We do?

Bobby: Absolutely. Today it’s time for the REALITY Seed Time Show. (Getting more excited as she continues.) The show where ravenous man-eating alligators are waiting to catch you if you fall off the bridge made of fraying rope and rotten planks that you have to cross in the middle of the rainforest while you try to get to the offering box on the other side. (Builds with the drama until the end when she realizes that Chloe is just not visualizing this with her.) What?

Chloe: What? Who on earth is going to try something that impossible?

Bobby: Well...(Still dramatic) would you believe they have to get past two possums waiting by the highway on the way to church?

Chloe: (Rolling her eyes.) Not really.

Bobby: Okay...(Still dramatic) how about if they have to get past a crew member holding a stick horse as you...?

Chloe: Bobby, this IS a reality show, but it’s about really trusting God with your tithe and
offering.

Bobby: Hey, it’s all about ratings. I was just trying to liven things up a little.

Chloe: Bobby, you liven things up just by being you. Believe me. Kids, are you ready for the Sow Your Seed Game Show? (Response) This is your big chance to REALLY win kid cash by REALLY answering questions about sowing. Bobby, you can ask the first question.

Bobby: Cool. Here it is. Where can you put your seed if you want it to be safe? 1) In God’s kingdom, 2) in your piggy bank, or 3) in your favorite sock. (Waits for children to answer.) Right! The only place where the thief can’t steal or the moth destroy your seed is in God’s kingdom. It’s where your seed belongs!

Chloe: Here’s question number two. After the farmer plants his seed, what does he do? A) Goes out for an ice cream cone, B) goes to bed and rests, or C) panics and runs in circles. (Waits for response.) Correct. He goes to bed. The farmer knows that God causes the seed to grow, and once it’s planted, he can trust God to take over from there.

Bobby: Last question. What kind of giver does God love? A) A grumpy giver, B) a okay-only-if-I-have-to giver, or C) a cheerful giver. (Choose a child to answer) You’re right! God loves a cheerful giver. You can be cheerful when you give because you know that God will bless you right back. You can’t out-give God.

Chloe: That’s all the time we have today. Thanks for coming to the Sow Your Seed Game Show.

Bobby: The show without alligators, rickety bridges, or jungles. (To Chloe) Don’t you think we could add a jungle or two for excitement? I think a jungle would be cool. There would be monkeys, and elephants, and tigers, and...(keeps up dialogue while being pulled off stage.)

Chloe: (Dragging Bobby off stage while shaking her head.) Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

God's God Your Back

The Lilies of the Field


(Nick enters the room wearing a trench coat, Sherlock hat, and glasses and fake mustache. He's whispering loudly to the kids.)


Nick: Remember, you didn't see me. It's like I'm not even here. Pretend I'm someone you don't want to know.


Nathaniel: (Walks up behind Nick and taps him on the shoulder.) Hi, Nick.


Nick: (Screams and jumps away because he's so startled.) AUUUUGGGHH! Don't DO that to me!


Nathaniel: You mean, don't say, "hi?"


Nick: No, I mean don't sneak up on me that way.


Nathaniel: I wasn't sneaking. You're usually not so touchy.


Nick: Yeah, well usually I'm not hiding out from a sister who is going to get me. How did you know who I was?


Nathaniel: Sherlock Holmes wasn't a thirteen-year-old kid.


Nick: Good point. (While he is facing Nathaniel, Erik comes up behind him.)


Erik: Hi, Nick.


Nick: (Again so startled he screams and jumps) AUUUUUGGGHHH!


Erik: What's the matter with you?


Nick: Don't DO that! I'm hiding out from my sister.


Erik: What did you do this time?


Nick: I found this awful shocking pink paint in the garage. While Susanna was visiting our grandma, I repainted her room. I'm going under cover so she can’t find me. (Starts laughing) She's supposed to be back any minute. I'm pretty sure we'll hear the explosion from here. (Laughs)


Nathaniel: I can't believe you did that.


Erik: She's going to cream you.


Susan: (Coming up behind Nick) Cream who?


Nick: AUUUUUGHHH! (Jumping halfway across the room again and clutching his heart.) I don't think I can take much more of this.


Susan: Are you going to a costume party?


Nick: (Big sigh) NO! This is my disguise.


Susan: (Aside to the kids while pointing at Nick) Weirdo. (Back to Nick) And you look so nice. By the way, you should be getting home. Your Mom is planning a welcome back party for Susanna. You should see how she re-decorated her room. It's shocking pink with awesome white and green accents. Susanna is going to be thrilled because she picked out the paint herself before they went away. It was in the garage. (Checks watch) Ooh. I better get going. Bye!


Nathaniel: I'd say someone up there was looking for Susanna. What do you think, Nick?


Erik: (Sarcastic) Someone BIG? Like GOD? Ya think?


Nick: (Hitting his head with his hand or any convenient hard object) It's that lilies of the field and birds of the air thing. They don't do any work, but God's taking care of them. Susanna leaves town, and God's got her back. I should have known my evil plan would backfire. I guess we might as well go to the party.


(As they leave.)


Erik: (To Nathaniel as they exit.) Oooh. Do you think they’ll have cake? I love cake.


Nick: (Following grimly behind.) Traitor.


Saturday, October 10, 2009

You Have the Authority!


Twin Trouble


(Nick enters with a pool noodle in each hand and collapses on the floor while Susan and Susanna look on.)


Susanna: I hope you’re clean, Nick. I don’t think mom wants you getting her freshly mopped floor all messed up.

Nick: (gasping for air) Thanks for your concern, I’ll be fine in a minute.

Chrissy: What happened to you?

Nick: The Thompson twins, Mike and Ike.

Chrissy: (brings her hands up to her face with a little scream) Not Ike the Terrible and Mike the Monster! Your kidding.

Susanna: Oh, man. I remember the last time I had to babysit them. The twins kept shooting me with those suction cup arrows. While Mike had me pinned down behind the sofa, Ike tore the arms off every doll I had.

Chrissy: That’s nothing. Once when I was watching them, they tied me to a chair because they were practicing their boy scout knot-tying. While I was trying to get out, Ike decided to earn his cooking badge by making his version of a cake with everything he could find in the cupboards. We still have macaroni and cheese stuck to the ceiling because it exploded. If my mom hadn’t come home at that moment, I’d have been a gonner. She made them clean it up, but we still can’t get it off the ceiling.

Susanna: Wow! Your mom’s good. So, Nick, are you done watching them?

Nick: Not really. They’re sleeping. This time they decided to play noodle wars, and I was the enemy. They kept running around hitting me and everything in the room. I was afraid they were going to break some of mom’s lamps. Finally they collapsed from exhaustion in the living room. I left them snoring where they dropped.

Chrissy: Those were the days! I don’t have any problems with them any more. They’re as good as gold when they come to my house.

Susanna: No way!

Chrissy: My mom taught me that I have power over the things I am responsible for. Remember that story about Jesus on the sea with the disciples. Jesus could sleep even during the storm because He knew he had power over the storm. God has given me that same power. And when it comes to Mike and Ike, I know that when they’re under my authority because their parents have given me that power for the time they're gone. The twins have to obey me. Once they knew that I knew that, I didn’t have any more problems with them.

Susanna: You have got to teach me that trick. Nick, when do their parents pick them up?

Nick: In about an hour.

Chrissy: Maybe we should go watch them sleep. You never know with those guys. They could wake up any minute.

Nick: Yeah, and if they see you when they wake up, their reign of terror will be over.

Chrissy: And you’ll never have to worry again, because you are the one in charge.

Nick: I’ll remember that.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bobby Goes for Kid Cash


Seed Time Game Show, Part 6


(Bobby Bling comes out disguised as a child.)

Bobby: Today I’m finally going to win some Kid Cash so I can go shopping! I can’t wait! (Bobby sits down in a chair to pretend to be a child.)

Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr enters to cheering audience and game show music.)

Chloe: (Calling backstage.) Bobby? Bobby? Are you back there? (Gives up.) Oh well, I guess she couldn’t be here today. Boys and girls, it’s time for the Sow Your Seed Game Show. Are you ready? (Response) Great! This is your big chance to win kid cash by answering questions about sowing.

It looks like I’ll be the only person asking you questions today, so here’s the first one: When you sow your seed, what will it do? A) Turn into a pizza, B) never come up, or C) grow into the same thing you planted.

Bobby: (Jumping out of her seat and waving her hand wildly.) Oh! Oh!

Chloe: Sorry, uh...little...girl. I can’t choose someone who is jumping out of her seat. (Chooses a different child to answer while Bobby sits down grumpily.) That’s right. The answer is, your seed will grow into the same thing you planted. Question number two is, what place is the safest for your seed? The choices are A) in the bank, B) in God’s kingdom, or C) under your pillow.

Bobby: (Stays in her seat this time, but isn’t quiet.) Pick me! Pick me!

Chloe: Sorry, little girl. I can’t choose someone who is yelling, “Pick me!” You have to sit quietly and raise your hand in order to be called on. (Chooses someone else while Bobby once again sits down grumpily.) That’s right! The answer is, in God’s kingdom. Whatever we put into God’s kingdom is safe. No one can steal it, and it can’t rust or wear out. It’s the best place to put a seed.

Bobby: I never thought of putting it under my pillow.

Chloe: Now it’s time for the last question.

Bobby: (Bragging to all the kids around her that she’ll get this one.) I’m going to get this one. Just watch me.

Chloe: If I sow one tiny seed, what kind of harvest can I expect to see? A) an enormous harvest that I don’t have room for, B) a medium sized harvest, or C) a little harvest.

Bobby: (Hand immediately shoots straight up, but one hand is over her mouth so she won’t say anything while her eyes are bugging out.)

Chloe: (Points at Bobby.) What is the answer, little girl?

Bobby: (Confidently) A medium-sized harvest.

Chloe: Sorry, that’s not the answer. (Chooses someone else while Bobby reels in shock.) What is the answer? That’s right! The answer is C. However you sow, that’s the way you’ll reap. If you have lots of seed but you only plant a little, you will have a little harvest. But if you sow a lot, then the harvest will be big too. That’s the way God set up seed time and harvest on the earth. (Looks at Bobby.) You know, you look very familiar.

Bobby: (Uncomfortable. Stands up nervously and starts to edge away.) Oh, lots of people say that to me. Hey, I hear my mom calling. Good-bye! (Rushes out of the class.)

Chloe: I’m sure I’ve seen her before. Thanks for coming to Sow Your Seed. See you next time! (Exits.)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Little Help, Please?


Divide and Conquer


(Susanna, reading a book, and Savannah, playing a video game, and Jonathon, playing catch with a baseball, are in the room, each doing their own thing. Nick rushes on stage dressed in an apron and holding a feather duster and cleaning supplies. He’s frantic because his mom says he has to finish cleaning or he can go to his ball game.)


Nick: Okay, what do I have to do? Dust, sweep, vacuum...AAUUUGGHH! How will I ever get it all done in time to go to the game?

Savannah: Hey, could you keep it down? I’m trying to get to one million points on Lego Star Wars. You’re throwing off my concentration.

Susanna: Yeah, how do you expect me to read with all that going on.

Nick: For your information, I’m trying to CLEAN! Mom told me I have to finish this or I can’t go to my baseball game. I’m LOUD because I’m FRUSTRATED. I can’t do this alone and make it to the game. (Looks at Jonathon) Got a problem with that?

Jonathon: Hey, don’t look at me. I’m just playing catch while I wait for you.

Savannah: You know, if you let us help, you’ll definitely get done in time for the game.

Susanna: What are you saying? I’m at the most exciting part of the book!

Jonathon: Do you mean work?

Savannah: When you have a big job and you split it up between a lot of people, everyone gets done quickly. It’s a lot easier that way.

Susanna: Easier for who?

Savannah: Oh, come on. Isn’t that what you’d like someone to do for you?

Susanna: Yeah, I guess so.

Jonathon: Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be stuck with all this by myself. What should we do?

Savannah: Let’s each take something to do, and we’ll finish in no time. Then you guys can go to your game, (to Susanna) you can finish your book, and I can get one million points and set a new Lego Star Wars record!

Nick: I like it. Let’s do it! (All grab supplies and walk off stage)

Parallel Adventure: Paul on Malta


Snake Bite!


Props: Two backpacks, camp pots and pans, a first aid kit, two sleeping bags or blankets tied up in rolls. Ipod would be good.


(Kids troop onto stage, tired after a long hike.)

Nick: I can’t believe I agreed to come on a camping trip with you guys. Where are the video games? Where’s the big screen TV? My ipod charge is out. How will I ever survive? (Pretends to faint on the ground.)

Susanna: Get up, Nick! You’re supposed to be one of the tough guys breaking a trail for the rest of us.

Savannah: (Yanking Susanna back) Watch out! Is that poison ivy?

Susanna: (Snaps fingers) Nick, go see if that’s poison ivy.

Nick: What?! What do I look like? No, wait. Don’t answer that.

Israel: This place looks like a good place to camp. I can see the lake down below. Let’s set up here.

(All start dropping gear and arranging things.)

Savannah: We’ll need wood for a fire so we can cook our food.

Susanna: (Snaps fingers) Nick, get the firewood.

Nick: (Frustrated because Susanna keeps telling him what to do.) What is this?! (Pauses as he has an idea.) Um...you’re right, Susanna. I’ll get the firewood. (Voice loaded with hidden meaning.) Hey, Israel. Why don’t you help me.

(Boys disappear off stage.)

Susanna: (Sighs) Good help is so hard to find.

Savannah: Well, some day you’ll have him trained.

Susanna: Yeah, there’s always hope.

(Boys come back on stage. Israel is helping Nick, who is limping.)

Susanna: (Anxious) What happened?

Nick: (Gasping it out) Snake bite! I can barely walk. It was in the firewood.

Israel: (Overacting) Right! It was two feet...(Nick elbows him) uh...ten feet long.

Susanna: Oh no! What should we do? We have to get medical help right away!

Savannah: Let’s see. (Licks her finger and holds it up to catch the wind direction.) The closest hospital is 170 miles due west.

(Everyone looks at her incredulously.)

Savannah: It’s actually 165 miles as the crow flies. (Realizing the looks she’s getting.) What?

Nick: (Still gasping a little as he lays on the ground.) No. It’ll be okay. I read all about snake bites before we came camping. If I can just get warm and eat a good meal, it will draw the venom from my leg, and I’ll survive.

Susanna: (Jumping into action.) Right! Warm! That means a fire. I’ll go get firewood. Food! Savannah, you get that ready.

Savannah: Got it.

(Both girls rush off stage.)

Nick: (Leans back, smiles, and puts his hands behind his head.) Now we can just sit back and enjoy this camping trip while the girls do all the work. Ah! Life is good.

Israel: You know, if they find out you just made this up, they’re going to tie you to a tree, pour honey on you, and leave you for the ants and bears. Personally, I’d rather have the bears. I hate ants.

Nick: What are the odds that they’ll figure this out? They’re girls!

(Girls rush back in with an adult.)

Savannah: Nick! Nick! Guess what! We found a doctor. She was hiking just down the trail.

(Nick and Israel freeze, panic on their faces.)

Israel: Uh...I think I’ll go forage for food. Which way, Savannah? (Leaves with the girls.)

Nick: I’ll go too!

Doctor: Don’t move! If it’s a snake bite, I need to check you out first. (Starts to check Nick’s ankle.) Hey, ever hear of Paul? He was a believer who told everyone about Jesus back in the Bible times. He got a snake bite too.

Nick: Really? What happened?

Doctor: Paul was shipwrecked on the island of Malta while they were taking him to Caesar. The natives of Malta were friendly, but after being shipwrecked, Paul, the Roman soldiers, and the crew were all wet and cold when they crawled up on the beach.

Nick: So they needed a campfire to get warm?

Doctor: Yep. Paul started to get the firewood. He didn’t know it, but there was a deadly snake in the firewood that he picked up. The snake slithered out and chomped right down on his hand.

Nick: But I didn’t think Paul died from a snakebite.

Doctor: He didn’t. The natives were sure he would, so they watched, waiting for him to fall over dead. But Paul just shook the snake off into the fire and was fine. The power of God inside of Paul was greater than that snake’s poisonous venom. Paul’s protection came from God. No weapon formed against him could prosper. (Pausing) You know, I can’t find anything like a snake bite on your leg. Are you sure that you got a snake bite?

Nick: (Nervously making a whispered confession.) Okay, Doc. There wasn’t a snake. I was just trying to get out of doing the chores. Did you ever have a sister? She is soooo bossy.

(All other kids rush back in.)

Susanna: We found some blackberries, but...Israel ate them.

Israel: (Defensive) I had to be sure they were okay.

Doctor: That’s all right. I think Nick will be okay after all. But he has some things he wants to tell you. Right, Nick?

Susanna: I’m so relieved!

Nick: I guess so. Thanks, Doc.

Doctor: Don’t mention it. Have a great camping trip, guys. Remember, you have protection! No weapon formed against you can prosper.

All: Thanks! Bye!