Saturday, November 7, 2009

Professor Math

Seed Time Game Show, Number 8

Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music.)

Chloe: Hi kids. Today we have an extra-special guest on our show. I’d like to introduce—

Bobby: ME! (Bobby steps out and takes a bow)

Chloe: Um, no, it’s not you, Bobby.

Bobby: (Shocked) Who could be more extra-special than me?

Chloe: Key word, Bobby. GUEST! This is not someone who normally is on our show.

Bobby: (Disappointed) Oh.

Chloe: Today Professor Math is here to help us with our tithing and offering questions. Professor Math, come on out!

Professor Math: (Dressed in Einstein wig, mustache, lab coat and large calculator.) Yes, it is I, Professor Math, to solve all your math questions.

Bobby: (Still grumpy because she’s not the special guest. Sounds bored.) How exciting.

Chloe: (Giving Bobby a poke to help her shape up.) It is exciting to have you, Professor Math. Are you ready to race the kids in getting the right answer to our tithing and offering questions today?

Professor Math: I am!

Chloe: First question. Boys and girls, out of every dollar, which dime belongs to God? A) The first dime, B) the second dime, or C) the last dime. Who has the answer first?

Professor Math: (Working on his calculator) Let’s see, you take the cosine of the tangent and cross multiply by the logarithm and... (By the time he finished, the kids already know the answer.)

Chloe: (Choosing a child to answer) That’s right. The very first dime out of every dollar belongs to God.

Professor Math: (Obviously not finished with his calculations, but agreeing anyway.) Uh...right...yes, that’s right. Very good, little boy/girl.

Bobby: (Rolling her eyes.) Second question. My mom gives me ten dollars for raking leaves. What should I do with the first dollar? A) Buy an ice cream cone, B) go to a movie, or C) give it to God as my tithe.

Professor Math: (Doesn’t realize that he doesn’t need a calculator for this one.) This time I’m going to divide by x and multiply by z in order to get the square root of y plus m, resulting in the function of...

Bobby: (Choosing a child to answer) Right again! The answer is C. We always give the first tenth, which is called the tithe, to God. We give to God from the first of all our produce.

Professor Math: (Still trying to figure it out.) Yes! That’s what I get too. Sort of.

Chloe: Professor Math and kids, are you ready for the last question? When we give the first to God, what does that do? Your choices are: A) it makes God like us better, B) it scares God, or C) it honors God.

Professor Math: (Again with the calculator) I’m going to get this one, boys and girls. You won’t beat me this time. Now, we will subtract the angle of the tangent from the hypotenuse of the Pythagorean theorem, dividing by the supplement of the parallelogram...

Chloe: (Choosing a child to answer) Awesome! The answer is C. It honors God when we give the first to Him, because it shows that we know He is the one who blessed us in the first place and we trust Him.

Professor Math: (Absent minded because he is still working) Uh, yes...very good, children. I think I will take that one home to run through my supper computer.

Chloe: You guys did a great job! Thanks for being our special guest today, Professor Math.

Professor Math: Oh yes. Any time. (Still working.) Where was I? The sine of the multiplied square root of x times b...

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