Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Lost Sheep
Sally: Sally Scoop here on the scene covering the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort that has been mounted by the local community in an effort to recover one sheep which has somehow gotten out of its sheep pen. Let’s see if we can interview some of the searchers to see what is being done to recover the lost sheep.
(Sees a scientist with some kind of weird electronic gadget.) Excuse me. Are you part of the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?
Scientist: (Pushes up glasses and talking in nerdy voice.) Sort of.
Sally: What do you mean?
Scientist: I’ve created the Lost Sheep Early Detection Sonar 3000. It is capable of locating every sheep within a range of 100 miles.
Sally: That’s amazing! Is it working?
Scientist: Of course it’s working. According to my readings, this room is full of sheep. It’s only a matter of time before I find the one that’s lost.
Sally: (Looking around and seeing lots of kids but no sheep.) Hmmm. I think you better keep working on it.
Scientist: You think so?
Sally: Definitely. (Points to another searcher who is blowing into a whistle that doesn’t make any sound.) Let’s see what she’s doing. Excuse me, I’m Sally Scoop with the local news station. Are you helping with the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?
Whistler: Of course I am. Can’t you tell?
Sally: Not really. What are you doing?
Whistler: This whistle is a special ultrasonic sheep caller that was passed down through my family. Only a sheep can hear it when I blow into it.
Sally: And how does this affect a sheep?
Whistler: It will make the sheep come to me. I’m going to blow into it now, so stand back. When the sheep hears this baby, it’ll probably stampede. (Whistler blows hard on the whistle, and then crouches and covers head because expects to be run over by the sheep.)
VO: MOOOOOOO! MOOOOO! (From backstage)
Sally: That sounds like a cow.
Whistler: Let me try that again. (Blows hard, then takes cover.)
VO: QUACK! QUACK! QUA-A-A-A-ACK!
Sally: That sounded like a duck.
Whistler: Well, I’m still working out the bugs. Why don’t you go talk to someone else for awhile? (Starts shaking the whistle and looking into it to see if there’s something caught in it.)
Sally: (Walking up to normal person.) Excuse me, are you with the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?
Sally: What special technique are you using to find the lost sheep?
Shepherd: I’m going out to look for the sheep
Sally: You’re kidding! All these other people had all this special equipment and techniques to get the sheep to come to them. You’re just going to go out and look for the sheep?
Shepherd: Because I’m the shepherd, and that’s what shepherds do. I care about every sheep. I don’t want even one to be lost. Even though it’s not easy or convenient, I’m going to look until I find the one lost sheep.
Sally: What if you don’t find the sheep right away?
Shepherd: It doesn’t matter. I won’t give up until I find the one that’s lost.
Sally: Wow! That’s real love! You heard it here, folks. The shepherd loves his sheep so much that if one is lost, he goes out and looks and doesn’t give up until he finds it.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Follow Dad’s Instructions
(Susanna comes on stage with a deck of cards, kneels down at the table on stage and starts to build a house of cards. She isn’t having any success when Nick comes on and watches her.)
Nick You’re doing that wrong.
Susanna Don’t you have something else to do, like booby trapping my room, or picking on Knuckles McFeeny, the neighborhood bully. (As they talk she keeps trying and failing to get the cards to stand.)
Nick No, I’m taking a break. (Pauses as he watches her) You’re doing it wrong again.
Susanna (Frustrated.) You can leave now.
Nick I’d rather stay here and watch you. You know, building a house of cards isn’t easy. Especially the way you do it.
Susanna Oh? So now you’re Mr. House of Cards Builder? What makes you so smart?
Nick I’m not smart. Well, I am, but the reason I just know how to do build a house of cards is that Dad showed me how. When I follow his directions, I can get started on a pretty cool house.
Susanna (Tries again and fails.) Uuuggghhh! Why don’t you find someone else to bother?
Nick There’s no one else home to bother. However, if you let me stick around, I can show you how to make a card house by following Dad’s instructions. How about it?
Susanna Okay, Mr. Know it all. Tell me how to do it.
Nick Great! First we should find a better table to work at. You want to make sure it won’t shake if you happen to bump into it a little. There’s a good one in our nice cool basement in Dad’s workshop. Let’s go.
Susanna And you can do this?
Nick Sure all we have to do is follow Dad’s instructions and you will have success every time. Come on. I’ll show you. (Exit with cards.)