Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Camp Sow-A-Lot Part 1

Seed Time Skit

(Counselor enters with three campers.)

Counselor Higgenbottom: (Taking a cleansing breath.) Ah! Here we are, campers. As your camp counselor, I’d like to welcome you to Camp Sow-A-Lot. (Pauses.) Welcome!

(Three nod their heads in acknowledgment.)

Counselor: You’ve probably wondering when the fun will begin, so I won’t keep you in suspense any more. The first thing we’ll do this week is to break up the big chunks of hard soil so the seeds can get through them. By preparing the soil, our seeds will have the best chance to produce an awesome harvest. (Hands out a couple of hoes and a shovel.) Here you are! Enjoy! (Starts to leave.)

Brian: Hey! Wait a minute. That sounds like hard work.

Counselor: It is hard work, but if you tried to plant seeds in this hard stuff like it is right now, they wouldn’t grow at all. You have to have to break it up so those tender little plants can grow and flourish.

Jenna: You’re kidding, right? I just had my nails done.

Riley: (Admiring Jenna’s nails.) Oooh. That looks like the Rainforest Special from Super Nails at the mall.

Jenna: Yeah. See those little monkeys and tree leaves. The girl who does my nails is a true artist. (Sighs at the memory of having her nails done.)

Riley: I’ve got to get to the mall and see if she can help me out.

Counselor: (Getting their attention.) Yoo hoo! Campers! It’s time to prepare the soil. Tally ho! I’ll be back later to check on how you’re doing.

Riley: You’re leaving us here to do this alone?

Counselor: Of course! I trust you to get the job done. I have to get the next group of campers to brief them on their own sowing adventure. See you later. (Exits)

Brian: I can’t believe I’m going to be hoeing a garden. I thought I’d be swimming and canoeing at camp.

Jenna: Swimming and conoeing sounds wonderful!

Brian: Hey! Let’s just leave and go swimming. It probably doesn’t really matter if we do this hoeing anyway. Those seeds are strong enough to get through this soil.

Riley: I don’t know if that’s a good idea...

Jenna: It’s a great idea. Last one in the lake is a rotten egg!

(The three rush off stage.)

Teacher: What do you think will happen when the counselor gets back? I think she’ll find that the soil hasn’t been prepared for the seed. It’s very important to prepare the soil before we plant our seed in God’s kingdom. We do that by learning what God’s Word says about our seed and believing it. Did you bring seed to sow in God’s kingdom today? Good! Hold onto your offering for now. We’re going to see the end of our story and then we’ll get to give to God.

Counselor enters, finds the work not finished. She sighs and sits down to wait. Just a few seconds later, the kids enter.

Brian: You guys just need to stop laughing at me.

Riley: (Can’t stop herself) I’ll bet you’re the biggest fish that guy ever caught.

Brian: Look, just because I didn’t know that side of the lake wasn’t for swimmers is no reason to laugh.

Jenna: I thought it was pretty funny.

Riley: And you have to admit it was very nice of him to save you from the quicksand too.

Brian: I didn’t know that there were places near the lake that we had to watch out for. I guess it wasn’t a good idea to head over there without the lifeguard—

Counselor: Ahem!

(Kids are startled.)

Brian: Uh oh.

Jenna: Oh, hi, Counselor Higgenbottom.

Riley: It was his fault. (Pointing at Brian)

Brian: Hey!

Counselor: I overheard your conversation. It sounds like things didn’t go so well for you today.

Brian: It was awful. I got caught on someone’s fishing line and it ruined my swim suit. Then I fell into quicksand trying to get out of the lake and the same guy had to save me from that too.

Counselor: Which is why we don’t let kids over on that end of the lake and only have swimming when there’s a lifeguard on duty. And then there’s this little matter of your garden. You still need to prepare the soil.

Jenna: What? We didn’t get out of it?

Counselor: Nope. Preparing the ground is so important that you can’t skip doing it. Don’t worry. The lake will still be there when you’re done so you can cool off. (Holding out the hoe.) Who wants to go first?

Riley: I will.

Counselor: When the harvest is ready, you won’t be sorry.

On your mark, get set...

The Power of Praise
2 Chronicles 20 (Jehoshaphat)
Act 1
(Susanna is sitting on the step, holding a paper, looking dejected.)
Michelle: (Enters) What’s wrong, Susanna?
Susanna: This. (She hands the paper to Michelle, who reads it out loud.)
Michelle: “Soap Box Derby Contest. Enter your car for a chance to win the blue ribbon and cash prize of $100.” (Turns to Susanna)
Ariana: That’s great! Let’s build a car. We might win $100.
Susanna: We might, if it wasn’t for this. (Hands Michelle a second piece of paper.)
Michelle: (Reads) “ We’re going to win, win, win! You’re going to lose, lose, lose!” It’s signed, “The Cool Kids.” Who are they?
Susanna: It’s that group of kids at school. They want everyone who enters the contest to know they’re going to beat them. I started building a car and they found out. Then I got this note. It took the wind out of my sails, and I don’t even feel like I have the energy to try anymore.
Ariana: Sounds like you have a hearing problem.
Susanna: What do you mean?
Ariana: You’ve been listening to the voice of your enemies instead of the voice of God. You need some praise power to get you back on your feet!
Michelle: That’s right. Remember that story about Jehoshaphat? They were facing a huge army that was going to wipe them out!
Ariana: Right, but when God said that the battle was His, they sent out the praisers before the troops.
Michelle: And God’s people won!
Ariana: What does the Bible say about joy, Susanna?
Susanna: (Dejectedly mumbling) The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Ariana: I can’t hear yoooou.
Susanna: (A little louder) The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Ariana: (To Michelle) Let’s help her! All together—
All three: The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Ariana: Great! Let’s go build that soap box car!
(Three exit)
Teacher teaches lesson here.
Act 2
Susanna: (Wearing the soap box car, which is actually a box with straps over her shoulders.) I’m a little nervous. The other teams all dropped out.
Michelle: Don’t be! You’re going to do great!
Ariana: Remember that praise power. God will help you do your best.
Cool Kid A: (To friends in group) Look who showed up for the race! (Yelling across to Susanna and team) Hey, you guys. I hope you like to lose, because we’re going to win, win, WIN!
Two other cool kids: Yeah! Win, win, WIN!
Cool Kid A: (Thinks it’s a big joke.) Aw, that’s so sad. Do you know why? It means you’re going to lose, lose, LOSE!
Two other cool kids: Yeah! Lose, lose, LOSE!
Susanna: (Ready to quit) That’s it. I’m done.
Michelle: (Stopping her.) No! You’re going to see this thing through. Remember what the Bible says? The joy of the Lord is your strength!
Ariana: Don’t listen to them. Say it! The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Susanna: The joy of the Lord is my strength.
(Ariana and Michelle step back to cheer from the stage.)
Susanna: Okay, Lord. I know you’re with me, and I choose to praise you, even though it doesn’t look like I can with this thing. I’m just going to have fun and do my best!
Official: Oh your mark, get set, GO!
(Susanna starts out running around the classroom with her box. The Cool Kids immediately have car trouble, and it won’t go.)
Cool Kid A: It won’t go! What’s wrong?
Cool Kid B: Um, I think I left the parking break on.
Cool Kid A: What! Fix it, quick!
(They fix it, but they’re hopelessly behind now. Susanna goes across the finish line and wins
the race.)
Michelle and Ariana: Hurray! Our team won!
Cool Kid A: (Finishing last and is mad at her friends.) It’s all your fault!
Cool Kid B: No it isn’t. It’s her fault.
Cool Kid C: No it isn’t. It’s her fault.
(Leave arguing whose fault it is.)
Official: I’d like to give you this ribbon and this check for $100. Great racing out there.
Susanna: Thank you, but the whole team gets credit for this. Without my friends, I couldn’t have done it.
Ariana: Or without the joy of the Lord. It gave you strength to finish the race!
Michelle: Let’s go celebrate!
(All exit.)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Nick does the right thing

A Time Such As This
Esther 1:1–10:3
Susanna: Nick! Nick! You’ve got to come quick!
Nick: (Playing video games) What’s the problem?
Susanna: Your friend, Nathan, is about to be creamed by the school bully, Muscles Malone, because Nathan wouldn’t give up his paper route money. You have to save him!
Nick: (Shrugs) I don’t really see what I could do to help.
Susanna: What do you mean, you don’t see what you could do to help? What is wrong with you! You could at least go out there and stand up to that bully with Nathan. Then maybe he’ll leave him alone.
Nick: Susanna, Muscles was shaving when he was in fifth grade. You don’t mess with guys like that. Usually I just pray that they move away and become someone else’s problem.
Susanna: We don’t have time for that. You’ve got to help Nathan right now!
Nick: But Muscles isn’t trying to pound me. If I go out there, I’ll just be sticking my nose in business I shouldn’t stick it in. Besides, I’d like to live longer than until I’m just 14.
Susanna: But Nathan is your friend. You should help him just because of that.
Nick: That’s true. He is my friend. (Thinking about it.) I’ll really miss him when he’s gone.
Susanna: (Shocked) That’s terrible! Nathan won’t be gone if you do something to help him.
Nick shrugs again and keeps playing his game.
Susanna: (Getting right in his face.) If you think that you can hide in here playing video games while your friend gets pounded and that it won’t matter, you’re wrong. Who do you think that bully is going to go after once Nathan is out of the way? Hmmm? Gee, who do I know who has a little lawn mowing business on our street that Muscles could exploit? Hmmm. Oh, I know. It's you.
Nick: Okay, okay. You made your point. If I don’t help Nathan and Muscles creams him, I'll probably be the next target. You’re right. I’ll go down and help my friend.
Susanna: I knew you’d see reason! Let’s get out there and show Muscles he can’t push anyone on our street around anymore.
Nick: (As they’re leaving) What kind of parents name their child Muscles, anyway?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The lost sheep search and rescue operation

The Lost Sheep

Sally: Sally Scoop here on the scene covering the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort that has been mounted by the local community in an effort to recover one sheep which has somehow gotten out of its sheep pen. Let’s see if we can interview some of the searchers to see what is being done to recover the lost sheep.

(Sees a scientist with some kind of weird electronic gadget.) Excuse me. Are you part of the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?

Scientist: (Pushes up glasses and talking in nerdy voice.) Sort of.

Sally: What do you mean?

Scientist: I’ve created the Lost Sheep Early Detection Sonar 3000. It is capable of locating every sheep within a range of 100 miles.

Sally: That’s amazing! Is it working?

Scientist: Of course it’s working. According to my readings, this room is full of sheep. It’s only a matter of time before I find the one that’s lost.

Sally: (Looking around and seeing lots of kids but no sheep.) Hmmm. I think you better keep working on it.

Scientist: You think so?

Sally: Definitely. (Points to another searcher who is blowing into a whistle that doesn’t make any sound.) Let’s see what she’s doing. Excuse me, I’m Sally Scoop with the local news station. Are you helping with the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?

Whistler: Of course I am. Can’t you tell?

Sally: Not really. What are you doing?

Whistler: This whistle is a special ultrasonic sheep caller that was passed down through my family. Only a sheep can hear it when I blow into it.

Sally: And how does this affect a sheep?

Whistler: It will make the sheep come to me. I’m going to blow into it now, so stand back. When the sheep hears this baby, it’ll probably stampede. (Whistler blows hard on the whistle, and then crouches and covers head because expects to be run over by the sheep.)

VO: MOOOOOOO! MOOOOO! (From backstage)

Sally: That sounds like a cow.

Whistler: Let me try that again. (Blows hard, then takes cover.)


Sally: That sounded like a duck.

Whistler: Well, I’m still working out the bugs. Why don’t you go talk to someone else for awhile? (Starts shaking the whistle and looking into it to see if there’s something caught in it.)

Sally: (Walking up to normal person.) Excuse me, are you with the Lost Sheep Search and Rescue Effort?

Shepherd: Yep.

Sally: What special technique are you using to find the lost sheep?

Shepherd: I’m going out to look for the sheep

Sally: You’re kidding! All these other people had all this special equipment and techniques to get the sheep to come to them. You’re just going to go out and look for the sheep?

Shepherd: Yep.

Sally: Why?

Shepherd: Because I’m the shepherd, and that’s what shepherds do. I care about every sheep. I don’t want even one to be lost. Even though it’s not easy or convenient, I’m going to look until I find the one lost sheep.

Sally: What if you don’t find the sheep right away?

Shepherd: It doesn’t matter. I won’t give up until I find the one that’s lost.

Sally: Wow! That’s real love! You heard it here, folks. The shepherd loves his sheep so much that if one is lost, he goes out and looks and doesn’t give up until he finds it.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Are you listening for God's instructions?

Follow Dad’s Instructions

(Susanna comes on stage with a deck of cards, kneels down at the table on stage and starts to build a house of cards. She isn’t having any success when Nick comes on and watches her.)

Nick You’re doing that wrong.

Susanna Don’t you have something else to do, like booby trapping my room, or picking on Knuckles McFeeny, the neighborhood bully. (As they talk she keeps trying and failing to get the cards to stand.)

Nick No, I’m taking a break. (Pauses as he watches her) You’re doing it wrong again.

Susanna (Frustrated.) You can leave now.

Nick I’d rather stay here and watch you. You know, building a house of cards isn’t easy. Especially the way you do it.

Susanna Oh? So now you’re Mr. House of Cards Builder? What makes you so smart?

Nick I’m not smart. Well, I am, but the reason I just know how to do build a house of cards is that Dad showed me how. When I follow his directions, I can get started on a pretty cool house.

Susanna (Tries again and fails.) Uuuggghhh! Why don’t you find someone else to bother?

Nick There’s no one else home to bother. However, if you let me stick around, I can show you how to make a card house by following Dad’s instructions. How about it?

Susanna Okay, Mr. Know it all. Tell me how to do it.

Nick Great! First we should find a better table to work at. You want to make sure it won’t shake if you happen to bump into it a little. There’s a good one in our nice cool basement in Dad’s workshop. Let’s go.

Susanna And you can do this?

Nick Sure all we have to do is follow Dad’s instructions and you will have success every time. Come on. I’ll show you. (Exit with cards.)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I Can't Keep It To Myself!

I’ve Got Good News

Acts 8:26–39

Susanna: I can’t believe I finally won the Great Chocolate Chip Cookie Bake-off. I’ve been trying to do that for three years.

Susan: Hi, Susanna.

Susanna: Look at my certificate. I just won a bake-off.

Susan: Wow! That’s great news. Your family will be so excited. Did you tell Nick yet?

Susanna: (Face falling.) Nick? Not likely.

Susan: But he’ll be so excited that you won! How could you not tell him?

Susanna: Well, let me see. Maybe because last week he put maple syrup in my shampoo bottle and I didn’t figure it out until I didn’t get any suds. Maybe because the week before that he used heat sensitive invisible ink to write “KICK ME” on the back of one of my t-shirts as a joke. Maybe because...

Susan: Okay, okay. I get the picture. He’s been a little busy lately.

Susanna: Let’s just say that if it had been a Great Goofy Tricks on Your Sister contest, Nick would have won.

Susan: When you have good news to share, you should tell other people about it.

Susanna: But what if Nick doesn’t care about my good news?

Susan: You should tell him anyway. Don’t decide that he won’t like it in advance. Share! And you might be surprised anyway.

Susanna: Why is that?

Susan: Brothers tend to appreciate sisters that can bake prize-winning cookies.

Susanna: You’ve got a point.

Nick: Did I hear someone mention cookies?

Susan: See what I mean?

(All exit.)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A True Gift

The Sacrificial Cookies

Luke 21:1–4

(Nate is holding a bag of cookies, very excited that he has them.)

Nate: I love double chocolate Oreo cookies. These are my favorite.

Susan: Hi, Nate. What’s in the bag?

Nate: Double chocolate Oreo cookies. They’re my favorite.

Susan: Oooo. I love cookies.

Nate: (Considering.) You know, Susan, I love these cookies, but I’ve got a whole bag of them. Would you like two?

Susan: Thank you, Nate. I’d love to have two cookies. Thanks!

(Nate shares a cookie and leaves.)

Susan: I love double chocolate Oreo cookies. Since I already had lunch, I think I’ll go get a big glass of milk to eat these with.

(Susanna walks in, looking upset.)

Susan: Hey, Susanna. What’s wrong?

Susanna: Oh, I forgot my lunch at home. I’m so hungry! I can’t wait for school to be over so I can go home and eat something.

Susan: That’s terrible! (Looks at cookies in her hand.) Susanna, I know it isn’t much, but I have two cookies. You could eat them. It might help a little until you can eat at home.

Susanna: I don’t want to take the only two cookies you have.

Susan: That’s okay. You’re my friend and I’m happy to share what I have with you.

Susanna: Thank you, Susan.

Susan: In fact, I was just going to get some milk. I’ll get some for you, too.

Susanna: Great!

(Kids exit)

Teacher: When Nate gave Susan two cookies, was he making a big sacrifice? (No.) It was nice of him to share with her, but he still had lots of cookies left.

When Susan gave her only two cookies to Susanna, was she making a big sacrifice? (Yes.) Susan gave all that she had. She didn’t hold anything back from her friend because she wanted to bless her.

Today’s story is about a widow who gave everything she had to God.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Be A Blessing on Mother's Day!

Mother’s Day Surprise

Susan creeps on stage. She is dressed in camo and covered with squirt guns and supersoakers. As she stealthily looks around, Susan comes up and taps her on the shoulder.

Susan: Hi, Susanna. What are you doing?

Susanna: (Jumping.) AUUUUUGGGHHH!

Susan: Watch out! It’s just me.

Susanna: Sorry. I’m looking for Nick. This is it. I’m finally getting him back.

Susan: With squirt guns?

Susanna: Oh yeah. This one has ketchup. This one has mustard. And this one? Maple syrup. I can’t wait.

Susan: But Susanna, how could you do that on Mother’s Day?

Susanna: I’m not doing it to my mom. I’m doing it to Nick. And anyway, it’s perfect. He’ll never see it coming on a holiday like today.

Susan: You shouldn’t do that to your mom on Mother’s Day.

Susanna: She’ll look back in a few years and laugh about it.

Susan: But don’t you think it will make her Mother’s Day a lot harder? She’ll have to correct you, and she’ll have to keep Nick from getting you back, and it just won’t bless her at all to have her two kids fighting.

Susanna: Oh. I never thought of that.

Susan: Remember Timothy in the Bible? He was so thankful for his mother and his grandmother. They took care of him.

Susanna: My mom takes care of me.

Susan: They made him food.

Susanna: My mom makes me food.

Susan: They gave him clothes.

Susanna: My mom gives me clothes.

Susan: They told him about God.

Susanna: My mom tells me about God, too. (Starting to sniffle because she’s so touched.)

Susan: Don’t you want to bless and honor your mom on Mother’s Day after she’s done all for you?

Susanna: (Pretend crying) I feel so awful. I can’t believe I was going to do that to my mother. (Blows nose with honking sound.)

Nick: (Walking past.) What’s wrong with her?

Susanna: Oh, nothing. She’s just having a great Mother’s Day.

Nick: Right. (Keeps walking)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Can I Take Your Temperature?

One Bad Bug

2 Kings 5:1–27

Susanna comes on stage and is looking for a book and some other things.

Susan: Hi, Susanna. What are you doing?

Susanna: Waiting on my brother when I’d rather be out with my friends.

Susan: Why are you waiting on Nick?

Susanna: Because Mom said that I have to.

Susan: I guess that’s a good reason.

Susanna: He’s got a cold so mom told him to stay in bed. I’ve been running back and forth for him all day!

Nick (VO backstage): Susanna! Where’s my comfy pillow?

Susanna: See what I mean? It’s like I’m some kind of slave.

Susan: I’m sure he appreciates what you’re doing for him.

Susanna: Susan, are you kidding me? This is Nick we’re talking about.

Nick VO: Susanna! I want some orange juice. Hurry up!

Susan: Well, maybe he won’t appreciate you fully today, but someday he’ll look back and be thankful for what you did.

Nick VO: Susanna! Take my temperature again. My feet are cold and my head is hot.

Susanna: I don’t think he’s likely to live that long. AUUUUUGGHH! (Looks like she’s about to pound Nick.)

Susan: (Grabs her arm) Don’t do it, Susanna. You know, there was a slave girl in Bible times who worked for her master Naaman. Even thought she was a slave, she was kind and helped him.

Susanna: Really?

Susan: Naaman had leprosy.

Susanna: Is that worse than a cold?

Susan: Oh, yeah! It was a skin disease. Lepers were avoided because no one else wanted to get what they had. But Naaman was pretty important because he was a successful captain of the army.

Susanna: What did the slave girl do?

Susan: This girl had been kidnapped from Israel, so she told Naaman’s wife about the prophet Elisha who could heal Naaman from the leprosy.

Susanna: What did Naaman do?

Susan: He got permission from his own king to go to the king of Israel. When he arrived, the king of Israel was so upset to learn that he was supposed to get Naaman healed, that he tore his clothes because he thought that Naaman’s king was just looking for an excuse to get upset with him and go to war. You don’t get requests to get people healed from leprosy much when you’re a king.

Susanna: Uh oh.

Susan: Elisha heard about it and sent for Naaman. He knew how powerful God was, and he wasn’t concerned.

Susanna: Did he heal Naaman?

Susan: He didn’t actually talk to Naaman. He just sent a messenger out of the house to tell Naaman to go wash in the Jordan seven times. Naaman was mad. Elisha didn’t even come out and wave his hands over him or anything, and Naaman didn’t believe it would help to wash in the muddy Jordan, since there were cleaner rivers than that.

Susanna: What did he do?

Susan: One of Naaman’s servants pointed out that if Elisha had asked him to do something hard, he would have done it, so he should just wash in the Jordan. It was worth it to obey. Naaman washed in the Jordan and came out with brand new skin.

Susanna: And all because a little servant girl was kind.

Susan: Never underestimate the power of serving other people.

Nick: Susanna! Where’s that comfy pillow and orange juice?

Susanna: Guess you’re right. It’s good to serve others, whether they’re grateful or not. (Calling to Nick) I’ll be right there!

Professor Math Visits the Seed Time Show

Seed Time Game Show, Number 14

Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostess and mine, Bobby Bling!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music.)

Bobby: Hey, announcer! What about Chloe Starr? You forgot to say Chloe!

Announcer: Sorry, Chloe is on vacation. But we do have a special guest today. Everyone give a big had to Professor Math!

Bobby: Oh, no! Not Professor Math. I don’t even like math.

Prof M: Velcome to ze show.

Bobby: Yeah. Great. Do you know how much I like math? Like a big zero.

Prof. M: Technically, zero is only a whole number, not a counting number, so ve vill not count it for today’s show. It looks a little like a donut. So— (Draws it on the chalk or dry erase board.)

Bobby: (Rolling eyes) Thanks for setting us straight, Professor.

Prof M: Not a problem. I hope that in time I will find a cure for your math-o-phobia.

Bobby: Right. Let’s just jump to the questions for today.

Prof. M: (Taking dramatic stance with his calculator using chalk board/dry erase.) I’m ready.

Bobby: (Second roll of the eyes and a large sigh.) Question number one. When we bring the whole tithe into the store house, the Bible says that God will: A) open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing we can’t contain, B) clap really loud because we did the right thing, or C) take us shopping for shoes.

Prof M: If you square the hypotenuse of the logarithm of x divided by z to the 10th power and invert the geometric series of S subscript n and square it you get—

Bobby: (Interrupts when she chooses a child) What do you think the right answer is? Correct! God says He will open up the windows of heaven and pour a blessing on you that is so big you can’t even contain it. How awesome is that!

Prof M: —three billion...I think.

Bobby: Too late, Professor, but good try. Next question. What is the tithe that we give to God? Is it A) my favorite candy bar, B) everything in my sister’s piggy bank, or C) the first dollar from every ten dollars that I get?

Prof M: (Quickly calculating) The factors of the polynomial are (x-1) using synthetic division to compute the n power over d to the xyz and so on—

Bobby: (Choosing a child to answer) Correct! It is the first dollar of every ten that we receive. God is so good that He blesses us with every good thing. Let’s always remember to give back to Him first because we love him.

Prof M: (Not noticing that the question is over. Sounding a little stressed but not giving up yet) Still computing! And if I take the graph of the function of z divided by m, n, o, p, I get...

Bobby: Last question! When we bring our tithe to God, A) He can finally afford to go out and get some ice cream, B) it honors Him, or C) He doesn’t notice.

Prof M: (Agitated and pulling out hair at trying to solve the equation he has on the board. Calls over his shoulder to Bobby) Still computing...if I take the probability that j will be zero except when it is in the denominator of y, and 2 is less than the n of m in the logarithmic function of w...

Bobby: (Chooses a child to answer) Correct! It honors God when we bring our tithe to Him. He doesn’t need our money, but He multiplies it when we give it to Him because He wants us to be blessed. And He always knows when you give. It honors God!

Prof M: (Triumphant at last.) The answer is two!

Bobby: Sorry, Professor. That’s not the answer.

Prof M: (Perplexed) Where did I go wrong?

Bobby: Let’s talk about it over donuts. Bye, kids. (Starts to push the Professor off stage as he mutters mathematical formulas and works on his calculator.)

Prof M: Was it the m divided by the logarithm of z? I wonder...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Servant Heart

How Not to Serve Someone 101

2 Timothy 2:24; 3:14–17

Teacher: We’re going to watch what happens in our little restaurant here. I want you to look for which waiter is really serving his or her customer. Can you do that? Great. Shhhh. Here they come.

Two customers come into a restaurant and are seated at two separate tables for lunch. They each look at the menu and decide what they would like to order.

Customer A: Let’s see what’s on the menu today. Hmm. I think I’ll have a double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake. That sounds awesome.

Customer B: (Peeking at A’s menu) That sounds great. I’m going to order that too. Where is it on the menu?

(Customer A points it out as his waiter comes out.)

Waiter A: Hi. Can I take your order for today?

Customer A: I’d like a double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake.

Waiter A: (Takes menu) I’ll have that right out for you.

Customer A: Thanks.

(Customer B waits expectantly.)

Customer B: (to the audience) I wonder when my waiter will come out.

(Waiter B walks out while reading a book. Doesn’t notice he has a customer until he bumps the table.)

Waiter B: Oh, I didn’t see you there. (Puts book away and assumes bad French accent) Welcome to ze Burger Heaven. We have ze heavenly burgers in this joint.

Customer B: Oh. Glad to hear it. I’d like a double cheeseburger...

Waiter B: (Interrupts and drops the accent) You know, I don’t feel like getting you a burger. Wouldn’t you rather have a hot dog? It’s less work.

Customer B: No, I really want a double cheeseburger and...

Waiter B: The truth is, I don’t even want to go get you a hot dog.

Customer B: (Watching as Waiter A brings Customer A’s food with a smile.) Isn’t that your job? And besides that hamburger, I’d like...

Waiter B: This job is soooo much work, do you mind if I just sit down for awhile? (Doesn’t wait for an answer.) Thanks. (Puts his feet up.)

Customer B: (Shocked) I’d really like to order. If you could just bring me...

Waiter B: (Waves the request away.) Are you kidding? I’ve been on my feet all day. They really hurt. Hey! (Bright idea) Why don’t you wait on me! That would be so much better.

Customer B: You want me to wait on you? You’re supposed to serve me. I’m the customer!

Waiter B: Exactly. That means you haven’t been on your feet all day. I’ll just rest while you take my order.

Customer B: (Aside to the audience) I’m getting out of this place!

Waiter B: (As the customer leaves he pulls out his book, leans back, and calls out.) Oh, I’d really like some fries and a chocolate shake with that order. Make it snappy!

(Actors freeze for a moment and then exit.)

Teacher: Hi, kids. Which waiter was serving the customer the best? (The one who brought food to the customer and took care of them.) When we serve others, do we think of them first or ourselves first? (The other person.) Can you think of someone you can serve this week? (My dad, my mom, my brother or sister, my friends, my grandpa or grandma, my teacher, etc.) How can you serve them this week?

Paul wrote Timothy a special letter. Do you know what it says? Paul encouraged Timothy not to argue with others, but to be kind to all. Being kind is a way to serve others. He also said that the Bible is God’s Word so we can understand what He’s done for us, and that it will help us be ready to do good things (equips us for every good work).When we serve other people, we are serving God too.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Do You Feel Like Singin' the Blues?

Got the Blues

Luke 19:18–40 and Mark 11:1–11

Nick is sitting on a table strumming a guitar as he butchers the song he’s made up.

Nick: I got the blues, (strum) oh, yeah, the blues (strum). Dropped my cell phone in the toilet (strum) I’ll never see it again (strum) and the neighbor’s dog (strum) ate my Wii remote (strum). I’ve got the blues (strum) The everything went wrong today so I’m not very happy blues (strum) Yeah, yeah, the blues.

Susanna: (Walks on stage holding her ears) Ow! Ow! What’s that horrible sound?

Nick: I don’t know what you heard that sounded awful, but I’m beginning my musical career.

Susanna: What’s your song about?

Nick: Well, my cell phone fell in the toilet today, so I was pretty upset. Then I found out that Elroy, the neighbor’s dog, ate my Wii remote when he got into our house. Now I can’t play my favorite video games. I won’t even tell you what happened when that kid you babysat yesterday got into my lego models. That’s in the second verse. (Starts to strum) My legos are in 80 million pieces ...

Susanna: Please! Stop! It’s okay. I don’t want to hear it. Listen, you just need to know one thing. You weren’t created by God to sing the blues.

Nick: I wasn’t?

Susanna: No. You were created to sing praises to God. He made you to have a close relationship with Him, and it should be fun.

Nick: Are you sure?

Susanna: Yes. Think of all those places in the Bible where it tells us to praise God. (Thinks for a moment) Let all the peoples praise Him. The joy of the Lord is your strength. I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth. See? You were made to praise. When Jesus rode into Jerusalem, they tried to stop the people from praising God.

Nick: What did Jesus do?

Susanna: He told the leaders that the rocks would start praising God if He stopped the people from doing it.

Nick: I’m going to switch to singing praise. (Strums the guitar as Susanna leaves) Hey, where are you going.

Susanna: If you’re starting a musical career, I think I need some earplugs.

Nick: (Strums and sings off key as he follows Susanna out.) I’m done singin’ the blues.

Susanna: Ouch! Ouch! You’re hurting my ears!