Saturday, January 16, 2010


Revenge Vs. Love

Nick has had it with Susanna. He’s using his chemistry set to create a Revenge Formula.

Nick: (Pouring a solution into a beaker.) It’s only a matter of time before my formula is finished. Then my plot for revenge on my sister Susanna will be complete. (Adds evil laugh.) Mwha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Nathan: Hi, Nick. What are you doing?

Nick: I’m working on my Super Revenge Formula. I’m going to get Susanna once and for all.

Nathan: What did she do to you?

Nick: Mom had her do the laundry, and she threw my red sweatshirt in with all my other clothes.

Nathan: So?

Nick: No boy should ever have to wear PINK UNDERWEAR! This calls for serious revenge.

Nathan: What does that stuff do?

Nick: It’s designed to reconfigure her molecular structure in such a way that she becomes invisible. I’ll never have to look at her again. Mwha-ha-ha-ha. (Pours it carefully into a misting bottle.)

Nathan: Can I watch?

Nick: There won’t be much to see, ‘cause she’ll be invisible. Hey, Susanna! Come here!

Susanna: (Enters) What is it, Nick? I’m trying to get my homework done.

Nick: (Nick closes his eyes, turns face toward audience, and holds misting bottle at arm’s length toward Susanna.) That’s what you think! It’s really time for revenge!

Susanna: Hey, there’s the book I need. (She steps past Nick’s arm as he shoots. When he looks, she is standing behind him and he doesn’t see her.)

Nick: (Looking) It worked! I can’t believe it! I’m a genius!

Susanna: Genius? I can’t believe it either.

Nick: Oh yeah? (Still talking to where Susanna was standing.) Just look at yourself. (He grabs a mirror and holds it up to where she was.) You’re invisible.

Nathan: (To Susanna) Is he always like this?

Susanna: Sometimes he’s worse.

Nathan: I find that hard to believe.

(Susanna taps Nick on the shoulder.)

Nick: Not now, Nathan. I’m enjoying this moment.

(Susanna taps again. When Nick turns around, he practically falls over.)

Nick: Auuugh! It wore off already? How can that be?

Susanna: (Looking at Nathan.) I’ll leave him with you now. (Exits)

Nathan: Great. Thanks, Susanna. Look, Nick. You need to forgive your sister. God has put his love in your heart, even for sisters who turn your underwear pink. It’s time to use that love to forgive. Jesus even forgave the people who put Him on the cross.

Nick: Yeah, I suppose that was worse than what Susanna did with the laundry.

Nathan: Of course it was worse! Jesus was innocent. He was the Son of God. But He let those people put Him on the cross because He was going to pay for all our sins. But He also forgave the men who did that to Him, and they weren’t even sorry they did it.

Nick: Wow. That’s some forgiveness.

Nathan: You can do it too.

Nick: Yeah, you’re right. I’ll have a talk with Susanna right now. (Starts to leave, but pauses.) But I’ll keep this special formula around just in case I ever need it. Inviso-man strikes again! Mwha-ha-ha-ha. (Exits, followed by Nathan, who rolls his eyes and shakes his head.)

What Makes Seed Grow?

Seed Time Game Show, Number 12

Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostesses and mine, Bobby Bling and Chloe Starr!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter. Bobby is carrying a bag of assorted hats, shovels, and seed packets that she thinks are necessary in order to make her seed grow.)

Chloe: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show!

(Bobby is looking at herself in a mirror. Chloe notices that she is trying on several different hats to see which looks best.)

Chloe: Um, Bobby? What are you doing?

Bobby: (Shocked that Chloe has to ask.) I’m trying on hats, silly. (Continues to try on hats.)

Chloe: I hope I don’t regret asking this. Why?

Bobby: If you want your seed to grow, you have to look like a real farmer, of course.

Chloe: Bobby, it doesn’t say that in the Bible.

Bobby: It’s got to be in there somewhere.

Chloe: I think the kids can help me here. Boys and girls, for your seed to sow, do you have to A) Wear a cool farmer hat B) wear special overalls or C) plant your seed in the ground?

(Chooses a child) Correct! The answer is C. It’s not what you wear that makes your seed grow, but the fact that you put your seed in the ground.

Bobby: That is so disappointing. I thought it was all about fashion. (Stops trying on hats and starts comparing two small trowels.)

Chloe: What are you doing now?

Bobby: I’m trying to choose just the right shovel. It’s so important to have the right shovel so your seed will really grow. (Pauses) You’re new at this, aren’t you.

Chloe: Kids, can you help me again? For your seed to sow, do you have to A) use a red shovel, B) use a blue shovel or C) plant your seed in the ground?

(Chooses a child to answer) Correct! The shovel you use to dig in the dirt doesn’t mean anything. You just have to sow that seed in the ground for it to grow.

Bobby: (Really shocked) Really? I thought farm equipment was almost as important as your hat. (Pulls out a package of seed and starts looking for an expiration date.)

Chloe: What are you doing now?

Bobby: (Depreciating glance.) I’m looking at the expiration date. I wouldn’t want to plant seed that was expired. I want it to come up after I plant it.

Chloe: Last time, kids. How long does the Bible say your seed will work? Is it, A) until the expiration date on the package of seeds, B) as long as the earth remains, or C) until my next birthday.

(Chooses child) You’re right! The Bible says the seed we plant will grow as long as the earth remains. If you’re wondering about seed growing, just look down by your toes. Is the earth still there? Then seed will still grow.

Bobby: Thanks for that great info about sowing, Chloe. (Still looking at her reflection in a mirror as they exit.) Do you think my seed would sprout faster if I went a shade lighter with my hair? Or maybe if I was a redhead? I’ve always wanted to be a

Chloe: Here we go again.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

An Unexpected Detour

After salvation, we don't live a holy life because we're trying to be righteous. Jesus' blood has paid a complete price, making us as righteous as we will ever be. With our hearts made new, we obey God's Word as a response to what He has done in our hearts, knowing that God's way of doing things will sow the seeds to produce a blessed life. God's Word is the road map for life, with all the guidance we will ever need. (I'd like to add that this skit is no reflection on our own family, since my husband is the one who always knows where we are going and I'm usually enjoying the scenery or reading a book!)

Where Am I? Skit

(A dad and mom are sitting in a car, driving down the road. Use four chairs for this. The parents are tense because they are obviously lost. As they talk, the kids bug each other quietly in the back seat.)

Mom: Do you think that’s our turn up ahead?

Dad: No. That’s highway 37. We’re looking for highway 73.

Mom: I think we should have stopped at that last gas station for directions.

Dad: I don’t need to stop for directions. I know right where we are.

Mom: Where?

Dad: We’re in Illinois.

Mom: Could you be more specific?

Dad: If we go west, we’ll hit the Pacific Ocean in a couple of days. If we go east, it’ll be the Atlantic instead.

Mom: You don’t know where we are, do you?

Dad: Men do not get lost. They take scenic routes. Hey, kids. Look at that field of horses.

Alexa: Mom! Brycen touched my part of the seat.

Brycen: I did not. The whole seat is mine. I was born first. You just get that corner until I leave for college.

Alexa: Mom!

Mom: Be nice kids. Your dad says we’re not lost. That’s something to be happy about.

Brycen: Are we there yet?

Mom: Ask your dad.

Brycen: Dad, are we there yet?

Dad: If the car is moving, we’re not there.

Alexa: I’m tired.

Brycen: I’m hungry.

Alexa: You can’t be hungry. You ate my granola bar five minutes ago.

Brycen: That’s because you threw mine out the window.

Alexa: Mom!

(Mom opens the glove box.)

Mom: Hey! I didn’t know we had a map of Illinois in here.

Dad: (Sounding hopeful, but then trying to act like he doesn’t need it anyway) A map!...uh, I mean, you can take a look at it if you want. You know, if it will make you feel better. (Tries to glance at it while driving, but not be noticeable about it.)

Mom: Here we are! If you turn left at the next road, then we should come to 73 in about five minutes.

Dad: See, I told you we weren’t lost.

Mom: I’m glad I could count on you. Hang in there kids. Next stop—McBurgers.

Alexa and Brycen: Hurray!