Saturday, April 24, 2010

Professor Math Visits the Seed Time Show

Seed Time Game Show, Number 14

Voice: Welcome to the Sow Your Seed Game Show with your favorite hostess and mine, Bobby Bling!

(Chloe Starr and Bobby Bling enter to cheering audience and game show music.)

Bobby: Hey, announcer! What about Chloe Starr? You forgot to say Chloe!

Announcer: Sorry, Chloe is on vacation. But we do have a special guest today. Everyone give a big had to Professor Math!

Bobby: Oh, no! Not Professor Math. I don’t even like math.

Prof M: Velcome to ze show.

Bobby: Yeah. Great. Do you know how much I like math? Like a big zero.

Prof. M: Technically, zero is only a whole number, not a counting number, so ve vill not count it for today’s show. It looks a little like a donut. So— (Draws it on the chalk or dry erase board.)

Bobby: (Rolling eyes) Thanks for setting us straight, Professor.

Prof M: Not a problem. I hope that in time I will find a cure for your math-o-phobia.

Bobby: Right. Let’s just jump to the questions for today.

Prof. M: (Taking dramatic stance with his calculator using chalk board/dry erase.) I’m ready.

Bobby: (Second roll of the eyes and a large sigh.) Question number one. When we bring the whole tithe into the store house, the Bible says that God will: A) open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing we can’t contain, B) clap really loud because we did the right thing, or C) take us shopping for shoes.

Prof M: If you square the hypotenuse of the logarithm of x divided by z to the 10th power and invert the geometric series of S subscript n and square it you get—

Bobby: (Interrupts when she chooses a child) What do you think the right answer is? Correct! God says He will open up the windows of heaven and pour a blessing on you that is so big you can’t even contain it. How awesome is that!

Prof M: —three billion...I think.

Bobby: Too late, Professor, but good try. Next question. What is the tithe that we give to God? Is it A) my favorite candy bar, B) everything in my sister’s piggy bank, or C) the first dollar from every ten dollars that I get?

Prof M: (Quickly calculating) The factors of the polynomial are (x-1) using synthetic division to compute the n power over d to the xyz and so on—

Bobby: (Choosing a child to answer) Correct! It is the first dollar of every ten that we receive. God is so good that He blesses us with every good thing. Let’s always remember to give back to Him first because we love him.

Prof M: (Not noticing that the question is over. Sounding a little stressed but not giving up yet) Still computing! And if I take the graph of the function of z divided by m, n, o, p, I get...

Bobby: Last question! When we bring our tithe to God, A) He can finally afford to go out and get some ice cream, B) it honors Him, or C) He doesn’t notice.

Prof M: (Agitated and pulling out hair at trying to solve the equation he has on the board. Calls over his shoulder to Bobby) Still computing...if I take the probability that j will be zero except when it is in the denominator of y, and 2 is less than the n of m in the logarithmic function of w...

Bobby: (Chooses a child to answer) Correct! It honors God when we bring our tithe to Him. He doesn’t need our money, but He multiplies it when we give it to Him because He wants us to be blessed. And He always knows when you give. It honors God!

Prof M: (Triumphant at last.) The answer is two!

Bobby: Sorry, Professor. That’s not the answer.

Prof M: (Perplexed) Where did I go wrong?

Bobby: Let’s talk about it over donuts. Bye, kids. (Starts to push the Professor off stage as he mutters mathematical formulas and works on his calculator.)

Prof M: Was it the m divided by the logarithm of z? I wonder...

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