You Have the Authority!

Twin Trouble

(Nick enters with a pool noodle in each hand and collapses on the floor while Susan and Susanna look on.)

Susanna: I hope you’re clean, Nick. I don’t think mom wants you getting her freshly mopped floor all messed up.

Nick: (gasping for air) Thanks for your concern, I’ll be fine in a minute.

Chrissy: What happened to you?

Nick: The Thompson twins, Mike and Ike.

Chrissy: (brings her hands up to her face with a little scream) Not Ike the Terrible and Mike the Monster! Your kidding.

Susanna: Oh, man. I remember the last time I had to babysit them. The twins kept shooting me with those suction cup arrows. While Mike had me pinned down behind the sofa, Ike tore the arms off every doll I had.

Chrissy: That’s nothing. Once when I was watching them, they tied me to a chair because they were practicing their boy scout knot-tying. While I was trying to get out, Ike decided to earn his cooking badge by making his version of a cake with everything he could find in the cupboards. We still have macaroni and cheese stuck to the ceiling because it exploded. If my mom hadn’t come home at that moment, I’d have been a gonner. She made them clean it up, but we still can’t get it off the ceiling.

Susanna: Wow! Your mom’s good. So, Nick, are you done watching them?

Nick: Not really. They’re sleeping. This time they decided to play noodle wars, and I was the enemy. They kept running around hitting me and everything in the room. I was afraid they were going to break some of mom’s lamps. Finally they collapsed from exhaustion in the living room. I left them snoring where they dropped.

Chrissy: Those were the days! I don’t have any problems with them any more. They’re as good as gold when they come to my house.

Susanna: No way!

Chrissy: My mom taught me that I have power over the things I am responsible for. Remember that story about Jesus on the sea with the disciples. Jesus could sleep even during the storm because He knew he had power over the storm. God has given me that same power. And when it comes to Mike and Ike, I know that when they’re under my authority because their parents have given me that power for the time they're gone. The twins have to obey me. Once they knew that I knew that, I didn’t have any more problems with them.

Susanna: You have got to teach me that trick. Nick, when do their parents pick them up?

Nick: In about an hour.

Chrissy: Maybe we should go watch them sleep. You never know with those guys. They could wake up any minute.

Nick: Yeah, and if they see you when they wake up, their reign of terror will be over.

Chrissy: And you’ll never have to worry again, because you are the one in charge.

Nick: I’ll remember that.

François and Ernie Salt of the Earth Skit

François and Ernie Make Ze Chocolate Mousse

Props: Table, bowl, large container of salt, whisk, spoon, instant chocolate pudding, small container of milk, two aprons, one chef hat

(François the Chef walks into class and stands by a table which is set up with some of the props for a cooking show.)

François: (Heavy French accent.) And today we make ze chocolate mousse which is as light as a feather. Ummmm!

(Assistant enters with a bowl and untensils, but trips and falls into the chef.)

François: (Upset) What are you doing, charging into my kitchen like a herd of buffaloes?

Ernie: Um, I'm your new assistant, Ernie. I need to learn to cook.

François: (Adamantly.) You need to learn to walk! (Quick change to smiling and friendly as he faces the audience.) So today, we have ze chocolate mousse. First, we put ze secret chocolate mix into ze bowl. Zen we pour in ze milk from ze cow zat says, "moooo." Zen we add a pinch of salt.

Ernie: Don't we need more than just a pinch?

François: (Firmly.) No! Just a pinch is all zat is necessary. Too much and we will have ze salt mousse instead of ze chocolate mousse. (Adds a pinch of salt and hands the container to Ernie.)

Ernie: I like things to be salty. I think it needs more salt. (Tries to add a little more salt.)

(The chef and Fred struggle for a moment, resulting in the entire container being dumped into the bowl.)

François: (Very upset.) Now you see! Now we have ze salt mousse that makes the people say, "Yucky, yucky, yucky!"

Ernie: (Trying to be helpful.) Well, I'll probably like it.

François: Auuuuggh! (Grabs Ernie by the ear and berates him while leading him off stage.) Ze salt mousse is ze yucky mousse. Yucky, yucky, yucky...

Teacher: Well kids, salt is definitely a very powerful substance, as Ernie the chef's new assistant found out today. Remember that we're supposed to be the salt of the earth. That means when you make Jesus your Savior, you will affect everyone and everything around you. As you tell others about Him, it will change their lives.

True Forgiveness Skit

None of us deserve the forgiveness Jesus has for us, so aren't we glad He's given it to us as a free gift? There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God!

True Forgiveness Skit

Props: Three sandwich bags, each with a plain donut, a plastic bat, and a ball

Susanna: Hey, Nick. I have something for you.

Nick: (Suspicious) Like what?

Savannah: Oh, brother. You are so paranoid!

Nick: With good reason.

Susanna: Look, Nick. I know that you poured jello in my shoes as a practical joke, but I forgive you. I have a present for you to prove it.

Savannah: Yeah, we went to the donut shop.

Susanna: I bought you a donut. Here. (She and Savannah exit with similar bags)

Nick: Wow. I can't believe Susanna forgave me for doing that to her. (He starts to open the bag, but stops.) Hold it! I know what this is. This is a trick. She's just trying to get me back for all the jokes I've done in the past. Rule numero uno of being a brother: Never trust your sister!

(Nick drops the bag on the ground and starts to beat it up with a bat.)

Nick: Ha! Take that! And that! No one fools the Nickster. Ha! (He hears the girls coming back, so he grabs the bag and hides it behind his back.)

Savannah: (Eating her donut.) This is soooo good. I love donuts.

Susanna: (Taking a big bite.) Me too. See you, Nick. We'll be at the park.

(Nick is stunned and watches the girls exit.)

Nick: It's not possible, is it? (He opens the bag and dumps out the mess that was once a donut.) Oh no! (Exit)

Teacher: I guess Nick didn't really believe that he was forgiven, did he? (Kids answer no.) That's probably because he knew that pouring jello in Susanna's shoes wasn't right. He knew that he deserved to get in trouble, so he was surprised when she forgave him instead.

We don't deserve to be forgiven either, because none of us could ever be good enough to go to heaven on our own. But God sent Jesus to earth to pay for the sins of everyone. Isn't it awesome that God loves us so much that he made a way for us to be forgiven?

Salt of the Earth Skit

This Needs Salt!

Props: Two muffins and the Hungry Bob costume of a large plaid flannel shirt and a pillow for fake stomach

Teacher: Hi, kids. Do you know what I have today? (Holds up a plate with two muffins on it.) I have two muffins here. Do you see them? (Yes.) Do they look the same? (Children will say yes.) I have a secret to tell you—they aren't really the same. There's something that makes them very different from each other, even though they seem to be the same on the outside.

Hungry Bob: (Sticks his head in the classroom.) Did I hear the word "muffin"? (He sees the muffins on the plate in the teacher's hand and runs toward the food.) Foooooooood!

(As Hungry Bob reaches the plate, the teacher lifts it up and he misses, rushing underneath. He's surprised and wonders where the muffins went. When he realizes the teacher still has them, he again runs toward the plate, and each time he does this, the teacher lifts it out of his way while talking to the children and seeming not to notice Bob.)

Teacher: Even though these muffins are the same size, color, and shape, they are different. The person who eats them will know that they are not the same. (Finally talking to Hungry Bob.) Hungry Bob, are you hungry?

Bob: (Out of breath from running back and forth.) Uh huh!

Teacher: Would you like a muffin?

(Hungry Bob nods his head emphatically. The teacher hands him the muffin that has no salt. Hungry Bob takes a big bite as she continues talking to the children.)

Teacher: The muffin I just gave Hungry Bob has no salt in it. (Hungry Bob writhes in agony over the awful taste of a muffin with no salt. He searches in vain for somewhere to get rid of the muffin in his mouth, but eventually has to just swallow it or run from the room.) Salt is very important. When there isn't salt in food, it doesn't taste good.

Bob: (Grumbling) That was not very nice!

Teacher: The Bible says that we are the salt of the earth. When we tell others how Jesus loves them and what He's done for them, we change the lives of the people around us just like salt changes food. (To Hungry Bob) You were a good sport, Hungry Bob. I'd like to give you the muffin with salt in it. Here. This one will taste good. (Bob grabs the muffin and runs out of the room.) The world is hungry for Jesus. Let's remember to be salt this week!